I am not good at handling pain. I can handle broken bones (had a few), cut fingers (had a few), kidney stones (had a few), even open heart surgery (had one). It’s emotional pain I do not handle well. I am oh so tempted to grab a drink, or a pill, or find something to do that takes me out of me, takes me away, takes me out of the pain. It hurts and I do not like it and want it to go away. Heartbreak. Rejection. Hurting those I love. Loss of a loved one. I hate it. It hurts and won’t go away.
I’ve been at it long enough now though to know that even if I numb it, even if I distract it, even if I run from it, the pain remains and will come back with a vengeance. Worse.
So tonight as I have hurt someone I care about, I sit with the pain. Just sit. Just hurt. Hope he can forgive me. If not, then I will just sit with the pain.
Hand me a beer.
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I am sorry....I understand emotional pain....hopefully the pain you caused was not because of intentional actions on your part but rather the delivery of unhappy news. It is pain of course....but healing and forgiveness will begin much quicker.
ReplyDeleteIt was unhappy news alright. I have to let go of someone. Tough. Thanks for the kind words.
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