Smokin' on the Back Porch

As if we did not have enough issues dividing us in this country, we now take up the gun control issue. And in the ongoing deterioration of our human relation skills, we are polarized on this issue like all the others. So sad. It all reminds me of my second husband. (Yes, Dearie, I have had more than one and less than 10 husbands.)

My second husband smoked. He loved a cigarette with his first cup of coffee. He loved a cigarette with a cold beer or after a meal or after a movie or after church, etc. He loved smoking. He was addicted and you could tell he was addicted every time I started telling him when and where he could smoke and encourage him to quit. (I have since learned you neither argue with an addict nor nag. Neither strategy works.) I think his long term fear was that cigarettes would be banned. Probably an irrational fear because too many people smoke, there is too much money in making cigarettes, and it evidently is eminently pleasant for the smoker. Non smokers probably wonder why they aren’t banned already and surely would have no problem if they were.

Things changed when our son was born and we were concerned that he always seemed to have a cold. His little eyes were red and would water, his nose would run, he seemed grumpy and ill-content. We did everything we could in terms of cleaning carpets and curtains, etc. to try to eliminate whatever was driving him crazy. Nothing worked. Finally we wondered if it might be my husband’s cigarette smoke. At that point he was smoking in the house. He started smoking on the back porch. Son’s respiratory issues immediately cleared up! My husband did not come inside to smoke from that day until his death, RIP. His smoking was hurting our son so he limited where he would smoke. He did so without resentment or anger. He did so because he did not want to hurt another because of his habit.

Since then I have been very sensitive to where others smoke and I know my husband would not have smoked anywhere around people who are bothered by it. He limited his behavior for the sake of others. I feel anger toward smokers who are not nearly so sensitive, who argue they have the right to smoke anywhere they durn well please and light-up possibly causing harm to others. Those smokers couch their argument in the individual freedom domain and personal rights and feel like they are being stripped by big brother of those rights if they cannot smoke anywhere, anytime. They are addicts and show their addiction via their irrational response.

Self limitation to increase the safety of others is a noble and honorable position. Much more so than taking the same position the tobacco companies took when they argued second-hand smoke did not hurt anyone. Some slogans could work just as well on this issue: Cigarettes do not cause death -- People smoking cigarettes cause death. If cigarettes become illegal, only criminals will smoke. I have a constitutional right to act in ways that could harm others.

A little self-limitation is not a bad thing. No matter how you read the 2nd Amendment it is not an absolute right. I think it is time for the NRA and gun owners to learn to smoke on the back porch.