Rolling Stones, Drugs and Standardized Tests

SATURDAY, AUGUST 13, 2011


Hello, faithful readers. As one of you recently noted it may appear I have hit a dry spell. Far from true. Nearly ready to share is a sequel to "Why Morph?" However, I have been otherwise pre-occupied with a personal in-depth study of standardized tests that upon sharing will make this whimsical title perchance make more sense. Further, I am inspired today at our continued foolhardiness by both the announcement of Texas' own Governor Perry to pursue the presidency, and the straw poll victory of Michele Bachmann in Iowa. Both events would leave a lesser broad weakened and devastated. I, however, am more inspired than ever to wage verbal war on the side of thinkers everywhere against a large army of anti-intellectuals sipping tea. But, back to my story, shared not to illicit sympathy, but to shed additional light on the current prescriptions to cure the ills of public education.

While out of town on a family trip on the last Wednesday of July I suddenly experienced excruciating pain. A rapid trip to the emergency room inclusive of an X-ray, blood work, urinalysis, height, weight, blood pressure, pulse and CT scan revealed I was passing, painfully I will add, a kidney stone from kidney to bladder. There it was on the scan. White against mostly blacks and grays. I was drugged while the stone rolled on, and once passed, relieved, soar and amazed. I agreed with the female radiology technician: As a mother of 4 I would prefer to bear another child than pass another stone. The CT scan was sophisticated, and I left with a DVD copy which I could play at home on my computer. Amazing. Clear as a bell. I trust airport scanners are not nearly so clear.

Once home I went to see an Urologist. He reviewed the scan, the ER procedures, the blood work, and the various lab tests and data collected on my ER sojourn, and pronounced me fit to proceed with life. Hurray! I had sophisticated standardized tests including lab work, X-rays, and CT Scans all confirming all was well with me. I was deemed "acceptable", (but my sharp tongue and ready wit prohibited the medical profession from awarding me the label "exemplary." "May I see your license?" the intake nurse asked. "Driver's or fishing?” I responded. "Madam, this is no time to get smart with me!" intake nurse said. "I fear I cannot help it. When perhaps, my dear, would be a better time?" I asked.) I apparently met the federal AYP.

Imagine my surprise when on the first Saturday in August I was once again stricken with the same pain, the same trip to the ER, the same standardized tests and the same conclusions, the same prescriptions. More amazing was the pronouncement that I had no more stones and this was it. Thank God, and pass the pee strainer and pain killers!

Alas, the second Tuesday in August we began Act 3 of the same play. Identical. Pain, ER, scans, tests, same diagnoses, same conclusions, and the same comforting remarks from humans hiding behind standardized data that frankly they were amazed that I had 3 such incidents in the span of mere days. Nothing in the hard data from the blood work, lab work, or scans of my very insides led them to believe anything was contraire. And yet, here I was, trip 3 to the ER. That is life. That is biology.

So the simple question is, in which of the following measures of human beings would you be willing to put the most faith? A CT Scan or a 10 year-old's pencil and paper bubble sheet standardized test score? Lab reports on blood analysis or a 16 year-old's pencil and paper bubble sheet standardized test score? A medical doctor's review of all the medical data, or a grading summary from a standardized test company?

And, no medical doctor worth his or her salt will stand behind the medical data as a source of judgment regarding the health of a person beyond a day or two from the instant the data was collected. Else wise, why do they keep having us come back for more tests? If they take my blood pressure in March, shouldn't that be good at least until April? How in the world, how for the love of God, are we willing to give pencil and paper standardized tests that pass judgment on children, teachers, schools and school districts that last for at least one and up to three years? Which do you believe changes faster, our biology or our minds? Can we learn faster than we metabolize? Of course! I learned a tremendous amount in the hours before the pain pills kicked in. (I was much more pliable afterward, though. Further indication that actively engaged students learn better than those who merely comply or are doped-up.)

Standardized tests used as a projected judgment of children and schools are the most inhuman thing humans have concocted to inflict on the youth and schools of this country. For most, given the high stakes of the test, they are not even valid on the day the data is collected. Perhaps informative, perhaps diagnostic, but not valid. Ask your MD.

Until we stop high stakes standardized testing I can't get no satisfaction. (Sorry, Mick.) And pass the strainer and the drugs.









POSTED BY EILEEN GOOD AT 10:39 PM


1 COMMENTS:



Mrs. G. said...

I hope you're feeling better. Interesting comparison. Tests are informative, not definitive. I'm not sure why that's so hard for some to understand.